Views on Life & on Equity Investing

Wonder, Wealth & Abundance

Jokes

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A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”

I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York Zoo.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.

I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets… then it hit me.

The most successful investor was Noah. He floated stock, while everything around him went into liquidation. 

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

Q: When does a person decide to become a stockbroker?

A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

A chemist, an engineer and an economist

A chemist, an engineer and an economist are stranded on a deserted island. They carry with them some canned food but have no ordinary means of opening the cans. The chemist suggests gathering some wood and starting a fire and then holding the cans over the heat, counting on the expanding contents to burst open the cans. The engineer thinks it would be better to try smashing the cans open with some of the rocks lying around. The economist begins, “Assume we had a can opener…”

God’s Time And Money

A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he was praying, he asked God, “How long is 10 million years to you?” God replied, “1 second.” The next day the preacher asked God, “God, how much is 10 million dollars to you?” And God replied, “A penny.” Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, “God, can I have one of your pennies?” And God replied, “Just wait a sec.”

There was an investor

There was an investor who had three girlfriends, but he didn’t know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one goes out and gets a total make over with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the investor, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.” The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.” The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.” The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and then decided. QUESTION: Who did the investor marry? ANSWER: The one with the biggest boobs. 

Written by amitdipsite

June 9, 2018 at 12:23 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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